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Jesse Watters: What a bunch of SNAKES!

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Get ready for more AI characters in Fortnite. Developer Epic Games is going to let Fortnite creators publish experiences featuring characters with AI-powered voices starting on July 30th, and ahead of that launch, it’s created 36 characters with “consistent voices and personas” that creators can use as NPCs. The characters include Fortnite staples like Agent Jonesy, Peely (the banana), Fishstick (a walking fish), and Cuddle Team Leader (who wears a pink bear mascot head).

Epic tested the waters of AI characters with last year’s Darth Vader NPC that was powered by James Earl Jones’ voice – a collaboration that Jones’ estate signed off on. Ev …

Read the full story at The Verge.

Waze is getting an AI makeover. Google is integrating its flagship AI assistant, Gemini, into the driving app with the goal of letting users personalize their trips a little more.

Of the four new updates, only two are being described as involving Gemini. Waze says its updating its conversation reporting feature, first introduced in 2024, to allow drivers to use conversational voice commands to report traffic incidents and suggest map updated, like a road closure or outdated house number. In addition, Waze introduced Destination Search, enabling drivers to use (again) use conversation voice commands (e.g., “Find me a coffee shop that’s open …

Read the full story at The Verge.

BELGIANS! We literally stood there and got our a–es handed to us by a country with a population of 12 million. Belgium has the same population as OHIO! And we stood there looking like a bunch of chumps. On national TV. On apps around the world. I’m not even some knowledgeable soccer dork, but my eyes know what they were witnessing. That was pathetic.

It was so bad that a whopping 78% of those surveyed think the Browns, yes, THE BROWNS, will win a Super Bowl before Team USA wins a World Cup in the next 50 years. To be fair, I should’ve been more dramatic and made this poll for the next 100 years.

BELGIUM EMBARRASSES TEAM USA BEFORE BREAKING OUT TRUMP’S SIGNATURE DANCE CELEBRATION AFTER FOURTH GOAL

Based on the talents we’re running out there, like 38-year-old Tim Ream, those who participated in the poll, make a good point by choosing the Browns. This country has a guy with a man bun in the goal box who is perfectly fine with getting his a– lit up by some 125-pound Belgian dork.

If Timmy had a problem with it, he wouldn’t have been caught in this position. Ream is allegedly 6’1, 180 pounds, and he got absolutely destroyed by a guy who needed to eat a cheeseburger.

If there’s one positive to come out of this mess, it’s that there are so many travel soccer jokes flying around. What we clearly need are more parents in giant SUVs burning vacation days to travel from Cleveland to Nashville to play club league games and then turning around and heading home, but not before playing a Sunday 4 p.m. match against a team in Cincinnati before heading back up I-71 and getting home at 10 p.m.

Why aren’t there more travel soccer tournaments in Argentina like 12U baseball kids going to Cooperstown? If that’s too far, why don’t we send out kids to Mexico to play in travel tournaments? Or maybe even Colombia?

I’m convinced our kids need to suffer to get better at soccer. I want them swatting flies off their faces in some remote Argentinian village that DOES NOT HAVE A MICROBREWERY, so the travel soccer parents can get loaded after the matches and brag about it on Facebook/Instagram. In fact, I want American youths shipped off to Argentinian soccer camps for 10 weeks each summer. I want them to come back with back alley tats. I want them getting off the plane in Cleveland with finger tats and fake gold chains around their neck while wearing shredded stonewashed jeans.

Maybe we end up with a few late-teen soccer players with Argentinian baby mamas. That’s just how this will have to go.

USA COACH MAURICIO POCHETTINO KICKS POWERADE BOTTLES IN FRUSTRATION AS TEAM’S FIRST HALF DEFENSE LOOKS SHAKY

ESPN has reported that Argentina is known to use squalid living conditions to toughen up its youth.

Look, I’m all for it. Maybe these kids see a couple of dead bodies along the way. If WE want to win a World Cup before the Browns win a Super Bowl, it’s going to take a generation of boys who have seen a few things to get the job done.

– Patrick D. writes: Mark Kelly is a weirdo, but in all honesty, why should anyone be excited to follow the pathetic U.S. men’s team? They were gifted the knockout round through favorable scheduling, aren’t one of the 16 best teams in the world, and made elementary mistakes in their biggest game in decades. They are an embarrassment.

READ: MARK KELLY PROUDLY BACKS TEAM MEXICO IN WORLD CUP AFTER BARELY MENTIONING U.S. MEN’S TEAM

If that was USA basketball, you all would be killing them. If that was an NFL team, you’d be killing them. If that was LeBron, you’d be killing him.

Instead, you’re giving them a pass because they’re a punch of preppy, Chad white guys or black guys that look like Corbin Bleu. You have to be an idiot to think there will ever be a day that US soccer matters as long as we’re sending 4th or 5th tier athletes to play…

Anyway, the moral of the story is, Mark Kelly looks dumb in that Mexico attire, but he’s not dumb for not supporting a team full of straight losers either …

– Lib Anthony couldn’t wait to send this email: Everything Trump touches turns to… (you know it.  I don’t even have to say it.)

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Beer Guy Neil in Cleveland emails:

By the way, guys, I’m going to start posting some of your longer emails with multiple photos on Facebook because it’s so much easier to embed this stuff into Screencaps than post photos that have to be captioned and sized before the photos can be posted here.

– Beer Guy Thomas V. in NC spotted this tragic news:

Kinsey: I’ll admit that I only purchased two cases of the lager since it was introduced. It was really good, but I just don’t find myself buying many cases of beer these days. This is also a good reminder that beer consumption continues to decline as Gen Z and younger Millennials prefer to eat a gummie and sit around their apartments playing video games.

– Brian M. in CA emails: I hope you’ve recovered from what sounds like an awesome golf trip!

As someone who appreciates the friendly competition and camaraderie of a guys golf trip, I thought you might be interested in a quick history of how one avid golfer and family man led to the creation of 3 groups that collectively just completed 100 destination golf trips!

In 1969 my friend’s dad started a golf trip that he planned, organized, and led for 50 years before calling it a career in 2019. Over 120 guys attended at least one of his trips but Ted B. was at the helm for all of them, including one to Pebble Beach in the early 70’s where they played for only $30. Ted’s son started his own group in 1991 and we just completed our 35th (28 for me) going to destinations like Pine Needles, Bandon Dunes, Sand Valley, and Gamble Sands among many others. And the third edition was another group started by Ted’s grandsons and they just hit their 15th year milestone.

At its core each group is brought together by the love of the game of golf and kept together by the friendships these trips build.

As you can imagine, the older two trips have said final goodbyes to several members and this year was particularly tough as Ted B. was laid to rest. But this humble man left a lasting legacy born from a simple idea to get the guys together for friendly competition and an abundance of laughs along the way!

Keep up the great work Joe.

Kinsey: There should be a special wing in the golf hall of fame for those who organize golf trips. What a thankless job. The thought of organizing a bunch of golf degenerates takes a special person who is willing to sacrifice part of his/her life for the enjoyment of others. Ted sounds like a first-ballot guy.

– Jim in East Peoria, IL checks in: Great job as always! Loved hearing about your golf trip – sounds like a blast.

HUGE kudos to you for proper grammar!!! As in “….AN historic….”. Thank you! Been wondering lately if someone changed the rules and I hadn’t kept up!

So “sad” (HA!!) to see Rapinhoe and the Euro elite snobs getting their panties twisted over FIFA’s red card solution. For all those idiots calling this unprecedented, I think I read somewhere that some other real good player – Renaldo (sp?) maybe – got a 3 game suspension taken away a few years ago. Something about a one year probation, and if he didn’t get any more red cards this one goes away, or something like that. But, I’m in no way a soccer fan, so might want to fact check that one a bit.

Lastly, books on the beach – I’ve got to admit I’m a bit of a reader, and do indeed actually read books on the beach, at the pool, on the balcony, etc. Mrs. Z and I hit a decent beach (Key West, Marco Island, Aruba, wherever) at least once or twice a year, and I usually take at least 5 with me for the week. Granted, at least one for the plane, and I usually only get all the way through 4, as it’s always annoying if I run out of books to read before the trip is over, but I do read. And yes, I do a ton of other stuff too, not just sit and read all day. If I did actually do that I’d need around 10 or 12 books. What authors you may ask? Patterson, Grisham, Silva, Evanovich, Baldacci, etc.

Good luck with the baseball tournament!

Kinsey: I should clarify, there’s an age at which I believe people are faking reading at the beach. If you have an active Instagram account, I feel like 80-90% of active IG users who claim to read books at the beach are complete liars.

– Brandon C. in Pinckney, MI was on the move:

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That is it this morning. The sun is shining. It’s summer, the football season is weeks away and now with soccer over, I turn back to the baseball season. Screencaps Jr.’s team is the No. 15 seed in this week’s tournament. Do you believe in miracles?

Let’s go get after it.