I am once again begging the folks in USC’s athletic department to crack open a book.

Or pull up Google. Watch a YouTube explainer. Ask an English professor walking across campus. Anything.

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Because for the second time in less than two years, the USC Trojans have attempted to build football hype around a famous piece of Greek literature without stopping to consider one very important detail:

The Trojans lose spectacularly.

With Christopher Nolan’s “The Odyssey” taking over theaters and social media, USC football decided to capitalize on the moment. The program posted its own version of the movie poster featuring its famous Trojan helmet and the words, “Our Odyssey begins August 29.”

Very cool, dramatic and topical. There is just one tiny problem.

“The Odyssey” is the story of the Greek hero Odysseus’ 10-year journey home after the Trojan War. And the reason Odysseus is traveling home is because he and the rest of the Greeks have just finished destroying Troy.

The Trojans are not the heroes of “The Odyssey.” By the time the story begins, their city has been sacked, their greatest warriors are dead, and the surviving Greeks are packing up to head home after an extremely long and violent road win.

This seems like suboptimal branding for USC.

Now, listen, I know not everyone is a nerd. If you do not personally know the intricate details of Homer’s epics, I will not fault you. Most normal people do not spend their free time carefully reviewing ancient Greek poetry.

But if you represent an academic institution whose mascot represents the mythological inhabitants of the ancient city of Troy, you should probably have a general understanding of how things worked out for them.

At the very least, someone in the social media approval chain should type “Who wins the Trojan War?” into a search bar before hitting “post.”

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And I might be willing to dismiss this as a one-time oversight if USC had not already committed essentially the exact same mistake.

Before the 2024 season, the Trojans released a beautifully produced hype video showing USC players bursting out of a Trojan Horse and charging into battle.

Again, very cool visual.

Except it was not the Trojans hiding inside the Trojan Horse. It was the Greeks. The Trojans were the ones who foolishly dragged the horse inside their own city, went to sleep, and then got slaughtered when the Greek soldiers climbed out and opened the gates.

And now, after already being roasted for that blunder, USC has returned to the same piece of literature and aligned itself with another story detailing its own demise.

But perhaps the funniest part of this entire situation is the date USC chose for the beginning of its own “Odyssey.”

The Trojans open the 2026 football season on August 29 against San Jose State. The Spartans.

So USC has promoted its season with a story about the destruction of Troy, nearly two years after promoting itself with the weapon used to destroy Troy, all leading up to a battle against an army from ancient Greece.

It’s — dare I say — poetic?

Anyway, good luck, Trojans. And maybe leave any suspicious wooden horses in the parking lot.